Celebrity New Year's Resolutions for 2007

Lindsay Lohan:
Learn how to knit

Ah, Lindsay. No one else can entertain us the way you do. The drinking! The catfights! The car accidents! Good times. But we'd hate to see you burn out, so how about a new hobby, like knitting? It's hip, it's fun, and you can make scarves during your many hospital stays. At least until you turn 21. After that, all bets are off.

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Jennifer Aniston: Try slumming it for a change

When your exes are Brad Pitt and Vince Vaughn, it's hard to feel too sorry for you. Still, reading about your love life in the tabloids can't be fun. It might be time to date a non-actor, someone the media doesn't give two spits about. You'll lose an Oscars goodie bag, but gain peace of mind -- and won't it be nice to be the pretty one again?

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Mel Gibson: Take up yoga

First came the Drunken Tirade Heard 'Round the World. Then, 'Apocalypto,' a film so violent it makes 'The Departed' look like a Disney cartoon. Now, we're not saying you have rage issues or anything, but Downward-Facing Dog could be just the thing to soothe the savage beast within. Breeeaaathe. Doesn't that feel better? Please don't hurt us.

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Sacha Baron Cohen:
Call 1-800-LAWYER

Hey, Mustache, you might want to fill up your T-Mobile "Fiiiive" with legal counsel, what with all the 'Borat'-related lawsuits. Because if there's one thing we have plenty of in the "U.S. and A.," it's drunks and/or idiots who want to blame other people for the things they say and do. Niiiice. (Pause.) NOT!

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Scarlett Johansson: Put "the girls" away

Don't get us wrong; they're very nice girls. In fact, to quote 'Seinfeld,' they're spectacular. But when you're always crammed into dresses too small for you ('The Prestige') or being groped by a gay man on the red carpet, you may want to throw on a sweater once in a while. We hear Oscar likes his girls with a little mystery.

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Tom Cruise: Dial it down
a notch. Or twelve.

Yes, we know this was your resolution last year. But just as we failed to hit the gym more, you didn't keep a lower profile in 2006, sparring with Brooke Shields, "joking" about eating your baby's placenta and staging a lavish media circus of a wedding. Tell you what. If you stay off our TVs for a month, we'll hit the treadmill.

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Reese Witherspoon:
Aim higher

It's not that we don't like Ryan Phillippe; we do. Yet when it comes to box-office clout, acting chops and, uh, trustworthiness (if you know what we mean), Ryan's whole package isn't as good as a single one of your pieces, Reeses. So try dating someone who's more your equal -- like, say, George Clooney (or one of us).

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Madonna: Thou shalt not steal (babies)

It happens all the time: You go to Africa, adopt an orphan and then discover -- whoops! -- he's not an orphan after all. Good for you, Madonna, for sticking with little David despite judicial intervention and the strain on your marriage. Next time, though, you might want to check for parents first. Don't make us slap a LoJack on you.

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Robin Williams:
Stay animated

You starred in six movies this year, playing everything from a talk show host ('Man of the Year') to a stressed-out dad ('RV') to Teddy Roosevelt ('Night at the Museum'). And your fast-talking penguin in 'Happy Feet' had them all beat, reminding us that, as with 'Aladdin,' we like you best ... well, as a cartoon. Nothing personal.

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Leonardo DiCaprio: Lighten up

This intensity thing is working for you, Leo. Really. 'Growing Pains' is but a distant memory. But since when did smiling become a crime? You're headed for Russell Crowe territory if you're not careful; so now that you're king of the world, ease up and try a romantic comedy or two. Not getting shot would be a nice change of pace.

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Jude Law: No more adultery ... movies

God knows what you were thinking, schtupping the nanny when you were engaged to the divine Sienna Miller. And though you spent 2006 "working things out" and trying to act responsible, it must've been the last straw when, in 'Breaking and Entering,' you played a guy who ... cheats on his girlfriend. Oh, awkward.

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Samuel L. Jackson: Don't believe the hype

When we first heard about 'Snakes on a Plane,' we thought it sounded like the awesomest of crapfests. Unfortunately, once the hype built up, it seemed like you believed it was actually a good movie -- which, um, it wasn't. Just a little something to keep in mind as you film your upcoming family comedy, 'Cats in a Camper.'

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Penélope Cruz:
Stick to Spanish

'All the Pretty Horses,' 'Captain Corelli's Mandolin,' 'Head in the Clouds' -- what do these movies have in common? Yup, all bombs. It obviously wasn't your fault, as you proved with your stunning star turn in 'Volver.' But as tempting as it is to conquer Hollywood, you may want to stay close to home for a while. That is, until 'Gothika 2.'

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Rachel McAdams:
Get a job

After giving us the gloriously raunchy 'Wedding Crashers' and guiltily pleasurable 'Red Eye' in '05, you went AWOL in '06, putting up a goose egg for the year. We know you've got the flick 'Marriage' slated for '07, but maybe a guest spot on 'Scrubs' could tide us over. We're thinking lesbian love interest for Elliot. How about it?

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Clint Eastwood: Use up some vacation days

Clint, Clint, CLINT. We know you've got a strong work ethic, but this is ridiculous. In 2006 you came out with not one, but two epic WWII movies, and picked up two Golden Globe nominations, to boot. It's time you took a break, gave some other directors a shot at glory and went on vacation. And no, Japan doesn't count.

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Best of 2006

Anyone can write a top 10 list. But here at Moviefone, we're overachievers -- so we came up with the 50 greatest movies of the year, from the most obscure indies to the biggest blockbusters.
See which movie was #1